Onward Hoe!

My roommate is from Honduras. She even has the t-shirt to prove it. It says 100% Catracho (catracho is like a nickname for the Honduran people). We also have a key holder mounted on the wall that says something similar. This is only really funny if you actually see my roommate in all her pasty whiteness. She's really the whitest white girl I've ever seen, and although she was born and raised in Honduras, her parents are Americans who were living there as missionaries. So she is both 100% Catracha and 100% American. It's just like how Jesus was 100% human and 100% divine, but different.

ANYcrap, for some reason, whenever she goes to Honduras, she comes back with all these slingshots, which she plans to give away as gifts to people she doesn't know what to give, which is how I got mine. They're not the hi-tech titanium ones that attach to the wrist for stability and accuracy (like the kid in Big Daddy when he kills all the pigeons). They're just whittled pieces of wood with a leather part for the ammo. The leather is attached to the wood by several heavy-duty rubber bands. Some of them are even painted to look like bizarrely forked animals.

Now I don't have a lot of experience with slingshots. Okay. I don't have any experience with them. I don't know what makes one better than another, but I think the wood/leather/rubber band ones are pretty keen. And if I'd had mine in New York, I think the pigeons would have been an entirely appropriate target. They're far too over-populated and annoying. But here in Raleigh, I really don't know what's ok to shoot. Mostly we just shoot bits of paper across the room.

However, if I were forced to make a list of things in the Triangle to shoot with my slingshot, it would be as follows:

1. Mark Jacobson (for all the right reasons)
2. the people who decided to move Best Buy to the mall
3. Moe's
4. Mark Jacobson's dog
5. the construction barrels at Walnut St. and Buck Jones Rd.
6. the shed
7. Mark Jacobson bobble-head dolls
8. truck drivers on Wade Ave.
9. Jason Jones (I'd hit him right in the neck.)
10. the people in the Mark Jacobson commercials (although I'd totally be in one if they asked me to)