Onward Hoe!

Well as you know, I had free tickets to see Evan Almighty last night, so HP, Sister D and SoHo went with me. We were all rather skeptical going into it, especially when the kindly old Baptist deacon man greeted us and asked, "Do you have a camera on your cell phone there, Sister Beth?" But despite the skepticism, we pressed on. Our bags were checked thoroughly for cameras of all sorts, though thank goodness they didn't care about the Baked Lays, chocolate chip cookie and Diet Coke I was smuggling in.

We took our seats in the third row. It was the only row that had four seats all together apart from the first and second rows. Apparently a lot of people RSVP'd for this event as they told us to get there early to claim our seats because they might have to turn people away. I don't know about all that, but we did have to sit rather close to the screen in a film that included a lot of straight-on close-ups.

I was worried going into this movie, just as I was going into Bruce Almighty, that they were going to just horribly misrepresent God, and I was pleasantly surprised that they got at least one aspect of him right on the money. The overriding message of the movie was that God loves us, and everything he does, he does because he loves us. Even the things that make us feel like God's out to get us are actually happening because of his love for us. And when everything's just going crazy in his life, Evan expresses perfectly what most of us have felt at some point when he says, "I know you do everything because you love me. Could you love me a little less?" But in the end, he sees the point of everything he went through, and it all makes sense, and it turns out that everything God did actually was for Evan's good and the good of his family (and the world, if you really think about it).

I also liked how they explored a pretty typical American opinion; that is, everyone should pray, but if you claim God talks back to you, you're a nut job. We all, on occasion, ask for God's help, provision, intervention, etc., but we don't like how he goes about helping, providing or intervening for us, so we continue trying to do it ourselves and complaining about "Where was God when I needed him?" Oh, and there's one part where Evan starts talking about the ark not fitting into his plans, and God, upon hearing of all Evan's plans, just starts cracking up. I have to say...I love Morgan Freeman as God. I just do.

I just have a few criticisms.

The whole long hair/white beard gag was a little too Santa Clause for me, but I think they did it because God was trying to get Evan to stop caring so much about his appearance. And it turned out to be unnecessary for all the animals to come to him two-by-two, but God was trying to get him to stop thinking of animals as being dirty, AND it made for some really funny scenes.

They made it seem like all God wants is for us to be nice to each other. There was a big, cheesy push for Acts of Random Kindness (get it? ARK), and that's a great way to live. I just think there's more to it than that.

And none of us were really buying Lorelai Gilmore as a politician's wife. She was just a little too hip in style to be in politics, but a litle too Stepford as a wife to be that hip. She came around some in the end and made a little more sense as a character, but she never quite made it to realistic.

Over all, though, it was enjoyable movie experience for me. It was thought- and conversation-provoking, and Steve Carell is just fabulous with physical comedy. The scene when all the animals start following him and the sheep are in the back of the Hummer...hilarious. Check it out at some point, even if you wait for it to go to the $1.50 theater or to DVD. In my humble opinion, it's worth the hour and a half of your life.

1. I don't have any cavities.

2. Mr. T has a show on TV Land Originals. It's a reali-T show (they said it, not me) called I Pity the Fool.

If you are at all a fan of Will Ferrell and have not already done so, please go to the movie theater and watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby as soon as humanly possible. I'm telling you, I haven't laughed that hard in a loooooooooooong time.

I'm not sure if it's because he's done the impression so many times (and so well), or if that's the only Southern accent he does, or if he really meant for Ricky Bobby to sound exactly like George W. Bush, but man...I just kept wondering when Jean Girard was going into the "Axis of Evil."

And the best quote of the movie (aside from all the grace he says) was when his dad said to the little boy, "Shut up you little potlicker, or I'll put you in the microwave." Stinkin' hilarious.

Ok, so I am completely and totally 100% addicted to Magnum, P.I. It comes on at 2:00 in the afternoon, and since I'm generally at home at that time, I've gotten hooked. Now if you are, like me, too young to have watched it when it was first on, I highly recommend setting your recording device of choice to catch it this go-round. It is, very simply, fantastic. I just have a few concerns.
1) Who is Robin Masters, and what was with the invisible boss craze of 70's/80's TV shows?
2) Thomas Magnum has these 2 best friends (from Nam, naturally), Rick and TC, who are neither policemen nor Navy men nor private investigators, yet they're always running around Hawaii with Magnum wielding semi-automatic weapons. As far as I can tell Rick owns a night club, though he is rarely at the night club unless one of Magnum's cases coincidentally leads him there, in which case, Rick just happens to be present. He grabs his gun, and they're off. TC is a helicopter pilot with no discernable job whatsoever. I did see him giving a helicopter tour of the islands once. Once. That's it. No wonder he's always complaining about how Thomas never gives him gas money for all the investigative work they do in his helicopter.
3) I'm a little worried about all the STDs that Magnum must have. I mean he literally hooks up with a different woman in just about every show. Plus Hawaii's not that big. I can't believe his reputation never gets around...or maybe it does.....?

First of all, a hearty congratulations to Guy, winner of the Food Network's talent search. And second of all, watch your back, Guy. I'm comin' up right behind you.

My friend Whitney and I laughed hysterically once that her first impression of me was that I was very "domestic." I was cooking chicken tacos for our homegroup, so it was easy to make that mistake, but all who know me well are aware that the "d" word has never been something I've aspired or lived up to...until now. I tell you, the Food Network has changed my life. Apparently I AM a cook. Here's proof:

I was at the Harris Teeter a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon a bottle of Jamaican Jerk marinade. Now, whenever I think "Jamaican Jerk," I think jerk chicken patties from Jamaican Flavors. I LOVE those things...could eat them every day. But alas, Jamaican Flavors is in New York, and I am in Raleigh. But with Jamaican Jerk marinade at my disposal, I began to try and figure out how I could recreate those delicious meat-n-pastry concoctions in my own kitchen.

I think Sandra Lee would have smiled to see me buying my first frozen puff pastry, preparing to experiment with my own semi-homemade cooking. I made my inaugural batch of patties on Sunday, and while they weren't perfect, they have that potential. If my calculations and thoughts are correct, you too can make Jamaican patties with the following recipe.

-Marinate and cook chicken breasts in any "Jamaican Jerk" marinade found in your grocery store.
-After cooking, shred chicken and refrigerate overnight.
-Thaw puff pastry, but keep it cold. Flour your cutting board and your rolling pin. Roll it out until it's pretty dang flat. It's gonna puff up, after all.
-Cut pastry dough into roughly 4"x7" pieces.
-Put some cold chicken on the dough and fold it over.
-Press sides together to seal. Make them pretty by pressing a fork all around (like the edges of a pie crust).
-Brush the tops with a bit of an egg wash to get that beautiful golden-brown color. Top with a little salt and pepper.
-Follow baking instructions for puff pastry (400-ish degrees for 10-15 minutes, depending on your oven).
-Eat.
-Tell me how it was.