Onward Hoe!

NO, silly. I didn't get married, but my friends Nicole and Oliver did, and I went to their wedding on Saturday, which was a BLAST! We danced the night away, which was pretty funny to watch, not only because watching people dance is just funny, but because it was like we were two dance teams. Like if we'd been a football team, we would have been offensive and defensive lines, but instead we were fast dance and slow dance lines. So while the fast songs were playing, one group of people was up on the floor, but when a slow song came on, all those people left the floor, and a whole different group of people got up to dance. Can you guess which group I was in? Oh yeah...definitely quarterback of the fast dance line. First string even. Scott and I danced one slow dance, but only because Heather told him it was time for him to perform his "manly duty" with one of us. Yikes, I know. I almost shot Diet Coke through my nose when she said it. But she just meant dancing. Vertically. And fully clothed. So we danced to Aerosmith's "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing," except we spent the whole time laughing hysterically (while the rest of the slow dance team were having romantical moments) because we were replacing all the yous with Jews. (I don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I'd miss Jews, baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even when I dream of Jews, the sweetest dream will never do. I still miss Jews, baby, and I don't wanna miss a thing.)

I sat out two fast dances: "the stomp song" (right foot two times...now hop five times) and "The Electric Slide" because, well...I don't do those. I just don't. Note to future husband: we are absolutely not doing either of those two dances at our reception. If you think we are, you've got another thing coming. But what am I saying? You're way too cool for those dances. Just like me.