Wednesday, September 22, 2004
AEO 4-ever
This is the letter I have written to the management of AE 34th Street (store #2071, NY, NY) having recently been offered a teaching position at "Hello World Language Center" (Please make fun of this as much as possible. It's just asking for it). One manager, David, told me I needed to put my notice in writing and to be sure I mentioned that I sucked. He likes to call me "Elizabethany." Another manager, Chris, was not satisfied with my original resignation letter, which was written on a piece of register tape. So I typed it out all nice and pretty, and that is what you have below. Questions, comments, and congratulations will all be warmly received. Enjoy!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004 A.D.
To whom it may concern (especially Chris, whom I know is greatly concerned):
I, Elizabeth[any] Claire Parent, being of (nearly) sound mind and body, do hereby, with a heavy heart, regret to inform you that I suck. As of next Friday, October 1, I am obliged by passion, calling, and good sense to resign my post as sales associate/mark-down queen as I have procured a big girl job which will allow me the opportunity to actually use the Master’s degree toward which I have been working for the past year (or 24 years depending upon your perspective).
I have enjoyed, immensely, working with you all for the last few weeks, and I did not plan on ending our professional relationship so soon. However, I would have to be certifiably insane to turn down the teaching position that has been offered to me, and I do hope that we may continue our relationship in an utterly unprofessional manner while still maintaining my employee discount privileges. Just kidding. But I will come by to visit from time to time expecting to be approached, engaged, and outfitted.
Vigorously yours,
Elizabethany
Tuesday, September 21, 2004 A.D.
To whom it may concern (especially Chris, whom I know is greatly concerned):
I, Elizabeth[any] Claire Parent, being of (nearly) sound mind and body, do hereby, with a heavy heart, regret to inform you that I suck. As of next Friday, October 1, I am obliged by passion, calling, and good sense to resign my post as sales associate/mark-down queen as I have procured a big girl job which will allow me the opportunity to actually use the Master’s degree toward which I have been working for the past year (or 24 years depending upon your perspective).
I have enjoyed, immensely, working with you all for the last few weeks, and I did not plan on ending our professional relationship so soon. However, I would have to be certifiably insane to turn down the teaching position that has been offered to me, and I do hope that we may continue our relationship in an utterly unprofessional manner while still maintaining my employee discount privileges. Just kidding. But I will come by to visit from time to time expecting to be approached, engaged, and outfitted.
Vigorously yours,
Elizabethany
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