Wednesday, June 08, 2005
The Devil's Lunch
First of all, thank you Anonymous for reminding me. I had totally forgotten.
Alright.
On Sunday after church, we all went out to Moe's for lunch. I usually get the Homewrecker, but I wasn't very hungry, so I decided to get the Ugly Naked Guy instead. In case you've never been to Moe's, most of the foods are named after jokes from TV shows. There's the ugly naked guy from Friends, the Art Vandalay from Seinfeld, and so on. The Ugly Naked Guy is a veggie taco, plain and simple. I ordered two. So the conversation went something like this:
Me: Can I have two Ugly Naked Guys please?
Moe's Employee: Hard or soft?
Me: (turning bright red) Soft.
John, who was behind me in line: She wants the flaccid ones!
Me: (turning even redder) ha...
Moe's Employee: You want those all the way?
Me: (almost purple by now) Yes, please.
So I get to the end of the line, thankful to be through with the whole ordeal, and not knowing that it had only just begun. My total? $6.66. This is the Devil's lunch.
Like I said, I wasn't very hungry. I got through one Ugly Naked Guy and couldn't go on. I didn't want him to go to waste, though, so John yells down the 10 tables we've pushed together, "HEY! BETH DOESN'T WANT THIS UGLY NAKED GUY! ANYBODY WANT IT?!!" Nobody did.
There were some friends still waiting in line, so I decided to catch them before they ordered. As luck would have it, Virginia was going to get an UNG anyway, so I just offered her mine. She accepted. Then the jokes about him being cold and soggy (in addition to flaccid) began. I don't know if we'll be going back to Moe's again any time soon, but to be sure, if we do, I'll be ordering something else.
Alright.
On Sunday after church, we all went out to Moe's for lunch. I usually get the Homewrecker, but I wasn't very hungry, so I decided to get the Ugly Naked Guy instead. In case you've never been to Moe's, most of the foods are named after jokes from TV shows. There's the ugly naked guy from Friends, the Art Vandalay from Seinfeld, and so on. The Ugly Naked Guy is a veggie taco, plain and simple. I ordered two. So the conversation went something like this:
Me: Can I have two Ugly Naked Guys please?
Moe's Employee: Hard or soft?
Me: (turning bright red) Soft.
John, who was behind me in line: She wants the flaccid ones!
Me: (turning even redder) ha...
Moe's Employee: You want those all the way?
Me: (almost purple by now) Yes, please.
So I get to the end of the line, thankful to be through with the whole ordeal, and not knowing that it had only just begun. My total? $6.66. This is the Devil's lunch.
Like I said, I wasn't very hungry. I got through one Ugly Naked Guy and couldn't go on. I didn't want him to go to waste, though, so John yells down the 10 tables we've pushed together, "HEY! BETH DOESN'T WANT THIS UGLY NAKED GUY! ANYBODY WANT IT?!!" Nobody did.
There were some friends still waiting in line, so I decided to catch them before they ordered. As luck would have it, Virginia was going to get an UNG anyway, so I just offered her mine. She accepted. Then the jokes about him being cold and soggy (in addition to flaccid) began. I don't know if we'll be going back to Moe's again any time soon, but to be sure, if we do, I'll be ordering something else.
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That's just flat-out funny. I wanted to write some witty piece of commentary, but the blog itself covers the available territory here. Highly entertaining. Moe's is one of my favorite places to eat, and now I have one more reason why--the Devil's Lunch. Hey, maybe you can get that added as a menu item. Just say it's from the TV show that is your life.