Onward Hoe!

I've got a new student in here taking a test right now, and the poor guy doesn't have any idea what he's doing. There's a page with what appears to be an excerpt from a phone book, and the test says to circle two phone numbers, that of Carla Hyatt and that of Dr. Hyde's office. Homeboy's over here circling every dang number on the page. I mean, technically, he's circled the correct numbers, but I can't count it knowing that he didn't have a clue. It's almost cruel to keep putting him through it. And even worse, after he finishes this, I have to give him a speaking test. It's computerized, and the program determines the questions it has me ask based on how well the student understood and responded to the previous question. There are six questions it asks at the beginning to determine a basic proficiency vicinity from which it pulls all the questions that follow. If they don't answer any of these first six questions, the test stops. But if they answer even one, even "Where are you from?" which almost everyone can answer, the test will go on and on and on and on, and I have to keep asking the questions, and the students have to keep saying, "No entiendo," and I have to keep smiling and saying, "That's ok," and putting them through this humiliating torture.

Confession: Sometimes I don't really give the test if I know they're only going to be able to answer "Where are you from?" I just write down 88, which, oddly enough, is the score they get if they don't answer anything at all, and send them to class. And sometimes, when it becomes clear on the 4th question that they're not going to be able to answer any more beyond where they're from, I stop asking them and just click zeros until the test stops. And then they get like a 230 or something ridiculous. For answering one question. If only the GRE had been that simple. Oh who am I kidding? It's not like I studied anyway.